Now more than ever it comes back in waves; in dreams, in smells, in colors. In the way a stranger moves their hand or holds a pen.

I fight my brain to remember it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing.

The old songs, they make my mind draw blanks. Turn thoughts to nothing. Make my heart drop and my skin tingle. The words and notes have more meaning than they really have.

The little things - the games, the foods, the jokes, the books - they will always be you. You always have me captured; you don't know and you don't care.

The smell of you comes through on the train, in the street, floods my senses and makes me shiver. Remember the feeling of your hands on my arm, on my waist, on my leg. Remember the closed eyes and the shudder of your lips on my chest. Remember your voice in the quiet; your body in the dark. Close my eyes and remember. For a split second - I can't breathe.

Your body, your clothes, your hair come through in strangers, and you're not there. I know there's no way. I know You're not there. You're not there and I'm still not breathing quite right.